Kirsty-Leigh Porter opens up about ‘heartbreak’ after daughter loss

OHMYGOSSIP — Kirsty-Leigh Porter has paid an emotional tribute to her late daughter on what would’ve been her due date.
The ‘Hollyoaks’ actress tragically lost her baby when she was delivered stillborn in December, and the star admits she was “dreading” yesterday (05.03.19), when her child was due to be born.
Taking to Instagram last night, she wrote: “Today is your due date, 5th of March 2019. I never would have imagined feeling how I feel about it today. For the last few weeks I have been dreading this day. What a huge contrast to the months of excitement I felt from the moment we were told you would be due here today. After that very first scan, my life changed, and it became all about you, after the dating scan, everything was all leading up to this date. The date I could NOT wait for, is finally here and it’s nothing how I had thought it would be. I can’t help imagining, would you have been here by now? Or would you have kept us waiting longer and stayed tucked up past today? Either way I don’t get to hold you in my arms. (sic)”
The 30-year-old actress admits she would’ve treasured “every single flutter” in her tummy even more if she’d have known that her daughter would be taken from her.
She added: “I wish I would have treasured much more every single flutter I felt, every little movement, every little kick you gave me whilst safely wrapped up inside my tummy, if only I knew then how much they would mean now. Sleep well baby girl (sic)”
The ‘Oaks’ star – who plays Leela Lomax on the Channel 4 soap – said this week has been “a struggle” for her, but her “heartbreak” has been partly helped thanks to Zoe Clark-Coates’ book ‘Saying Goodbye’, which tells the story of her own baby loss and 90 days of support to help others walk through the grief.
Kirsty-Leigh wrote: “This week in particular has been a struggle.. tomorrow is Penny-Leigh Barber’s due date – 5th March 2019. A date I spent saying over and over again, looking forward too with the most excitement, planning my whole life around. I’ve really had to pick myself up, and I am searching for any help. Thankfully I remembered this book I received from the bereavement suite at the hospital. Written by @zoeadelle Just turning a few pages and reading the words of someone who understands your experience helps. I recommend anyone who is going through this heartbreak to get hold of a copy. (sic)”

Source: Female First
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